


Of wolves and stars, dogs and moons

by patronusbro



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Remus, wirst wizarding war, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5045521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patronusbro/pseuds/patronusbro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Wolfstar oneshots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pudding

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit of a mess, so these don't have an over-all plot. I hope you enjoy them anyway!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus have been a couple for some time and moved into a flat together. One morning, Sirius manages to completely surprise and confuse Remus with a wish.

“What?”, Remus shrieked. It did not sound like a noise made by a human, but more like the last shriek a rat did before being eaten the head off by a cat.

“Remus John Lupin, saviour of my heart, lord of my lap, father of my somewhat not yet existing children and the on and the forth – do you want to marry me?”, Sirius said, turning to him.

The morning light was shining through the window in their bedroom, sleepily it tore its way through the cloudy skies. Just haven awoken, their legs were still interlaced from spooning during the night.

“What the... lord of you lap!?”, Remus stammered.

“You know, touchy touchy and all that.”

Remus face burned like it has just been shoved into an oven. This was not happening, he thought. It could not be happening. No way. Never ever. Sirius proposing to him? Sirius _Monsieur Let Me My Freedom and I Will Let Your Shoelaces On Your Shoes_ Orion Black proposing to him, Remus _Dust and Old Books Sometimes a Faint Smell Of Chocolate Sirius Likes To Lick Of His Lips_ John Lupin? He tried to read Sirius' face. Was he kidding and would throw him out of the bed any moment and tickle him all over, because Hooray Remus Lupin believed his joke? Would he start laughing so hardly that he started crying and giggled even more about Remus' face that would suddenly be not more but a flesh-coloured circle with well, some very angry expression on it, with a hint of _I Will Kill You In Your Sleep or At The Next Full Moon or Rip Your Belly Open The Next Time We Have Sex_?

Actually, right now, Sirius looked like an eager puppy – but then, to be fair, Sirius always looked like an eager puppy and Remus realised that he was probably not that good with face reading. Every time he tried to go further than reading Sirius' eyes he failed because one could not simply escape these mysteriously grey eyes. Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that he was a pureblood, with that air of niveau and elegance surrounding his appearance. The problem here could also be that half of Sirius' face was covered by black hair that seemed to be wildly playing with his jaw and eyebrows and one side of his mouth – so Remus could not spot enough face for face reading.

Or it was because Sirius' hand were slowly approaching certain places in the universe that when touched would destroy every will Remus had to form thoughts that actually made sense an/or read a Special Mister's face decently. He should have known that his brain went pudding every time he looked into that face and therefore reading to find out about its owner's thoughts had never really been an option. The only thing he could read about it was _puppy_. Puppy, puppy, puppy. Begging puppy. Possibly joking puppy. No one could know. It was still Sirius' face so he shouldn't put to much hope into not being taken in by it's owner.

“Er”, he made.

“Oh, come on, it is not that hard to answer. Do you love me, then I'd like to hear a yes from you now. If you think Sirius Black is the greatest prat to have ever walked on this earth, then the answer would be no, but in that case I'd shut you mouth and keep you from breathing until you say _Yeha, cowboy, I do_!”

“What the fuck”, Remus murmured.

A wicked smile was growing on Sirius' mouth, the sort that turned him into a white-teeth model, probably one for toothpaste; a smile that set the edges of his lips on fire and wrinkled his eyes. It was exactly the smile Remus couldn't resist and Sirius knew that as well as he knew his favourite sort of dungbombs. It was _Miller's dungbombs – let's make the world go stink_ , as he reminded Remus at least twice a day. Heck, Remus thought, something is really wrong with that brain of mine.

“I am pudding”, he said.

Sirius slowly raised an eyebrow.

“No, no, no. You're getting it all wrong. It is yes or no. I am very pleased of the fact I can eat you now any time I want, since I love pudding, as you know. But still, that was not what I was asking about.”

“Ahchrm”, escaped Remus' mouth.

“Was this a yes?”, Sirius pleased and Remus could imagine that if he was a dog now, he would most certainly wave his tail. The words trailed off his mouth before he could do anything about it.

“'N your family?”

A shadow crept over Sirius' face, his eyes darkened and he probably looked sexier than ever.

“Well, I don't fucking care. Dromeda could come, she's bearable, nice even.”

Remus gulps.

“So, _no_ it is, then?”, Sirius asked and made an attempt to get out of the bed. He had forgotten that one of his thighs was still between Remus', who didn't let him go. It looked like Sirius really meant it, if he was reacting like this. Oh God, oh God. What was the proper way to answer to that? In muggle films the women would start crying and scream _yes, yes, yes_ all over the place and then the couple kissed and next thing they knew was that they were slurping champagne together with some distant relatives. Well, the woman would not, because at that point she was already pregnant, classical. But Remus was neither a woman nor a muggle so he didn't know what to do. Needless to say that he feels stupidly useless.

“I don't want to be pregnant”, he blabbered.

“What?”

Remus slammed his hand against his forehead. He really was worried about his pudding. His brain. His _brain_.

“Sorry, it's just –“

Sirius giggled like a little girl.

“What the hell – okay, I don't know whether I need to explain to you how that works. See – Lily and James, that's two people and one of them is a woman. And only women can get pregnant, you pudding. You ain't a woman.”

He gently removed Remus' hand out of his face and lied it onto the blanket.

“Well, according to you I am at least half of a woman. You know, with all the thinking and worrying, haha.”

“Ah, well, that was one of my weak moments in which I was brought down by the horrific gender stereotypes that still must be stuck in my head somewhere. Anyhow; if thinking makes you a woman I am very sure you are none at the moment.”p > “It's just – let's be realistic. It is war, people don't know about us, I am not even allowed to marry –“

“You're not allowed to marry? Who said that?”, Sirius asked and his forehead was one big wrinkle.

“Ministry, I'm a werewolf. They want to be sure there is no werewolf babies.”

“I already tried to explain to you there won't be any babies.”p> “Still I am a werewolf. Who wants to marry a werewolf, I ask.”

“Oh, shut up. Did I ever look like I cared?”

“Mh.”

“Moony – I _never_ did.”

Sometimes Remus was confused how quickly Sirius' mood could change. At first he would be all puppy, then there would quickly appear moments in which he basically snarled like a grown-up dog. And just as suddenly this snarling could change into a sort of smiling panting, golden retriever style. Remus tried to laugh a little.

“Proposing is easier in muggle films, innit?”

“Everything is easy in muggle films, and also – what the heck kind of films are you watching, with proposals?”

Sirius' face went blank all of the sudden. He nearly jumped in bed.

“Merlin – what if, what if we act as muggles, I mean – what if we marry the muggle way?”

He has turned all puppy again.

“Still we're to men and two men are not allowed to marry”, Remus said.

“There's polyjuice potion. Like, you could be the woman, or I could. I look dashing in a dress and I could braid my hair in one of these coiled plaits. And about telling the others – they already know we live in a flat together, maybe they don't know about the couple part, but who cares? And the war – I heard there were three times as many weddings, marriages these days, so –“

“Whoa, how does it come you know _that_?”

Sirius blushed in the most wonderful way.

“That doesn't matter. I, I just want to marry you, okay?”

Remus blinked twice. “But why?”

“But why!? Moony – I thought we had a special something! Didn't you say you love me, am I not crazy about you? What about the children, think of them! How will they feel about their parents splitting up?”, he said in an enormous speed.

“I thought there were no children?”, Remus asked.

“We could adopt!”

“Oh, shut up! You hate children. First of all: When the hell did you become this domestic? Marriage, kids – what the fuck happened to you? And then, number Two: You're crazy about me?”

“Number One: I love you and you should be glad about that, the potato you are. Number Two: Why else would I've stayed with you otherwise? Use your brain! And I'd like to add a Number Three: Do you want to marry me or not? Is that hiding behind questions the Moony way not having to answer with a no or the Moony way of over-thinking everything on earth?«

“Possibly both...?”

“Stay with the numbers, Sir!”

Remus couldn't help it but grin. What the heck kind of conversation was that. Them – half-naked, with sleep in their eyes and morning breath; and Sirius Black, _Sirius Black_ , wanted to marry him and get children?

“Okay, then. Number One: The only time I remember you said you loved me, was when you got drunk on Valentine's Day. I really have no idea, what is happening to you right now but you're possibly just as drugged as back then.”

“Drugged with love!”

“This is ridiculous!”, Remus giggled, “You are not like that usually! That... nice.”

“I am always nice”, Sirius demanded and put his hands at a certain place in the universe that when being touched would destroy every will Remus had to form thoughts that made sense.

“I am trying to – stop this – I am trying to – Sirius! Padfoot! Sir! Stop this, I swear or –“ he tried and shoved Sirius' hand gently away, “I am trying to have a deep conversation with you!”

Now Sirius went for Remus neck and the long scar that ran along his collarbone. It was another one of these places in the universe. He really had a talent of finding those and using them as an argument whenever he did not know what to say any more. Needles to say that way he always won that way.

“You're trying to be boring”, Sirius insisted, “Who holds conversation when a few letters are enough? Well, three actually. If it's two letters I will leave this bed right now and never come back. Because we are all quite close to being killed by a terrible organisation and even though I realised once more how much I love you, I bet anyone would willingly take care of me – I mean, look at my face. But I am not so sure about you – look at your face. And your books. And sweaters. I am possibly the only one to ever find that attractive, that and the pancakes in the morning. That, the pancakes in the morning, your giggling and also full moon nights. Because that's when you're the sexiest and I am really gonna regret this speech later, I think. Who cares – right now I have you besides me, under me in fact, haha, and this is all right, innit? I need a willing sex slave and you were the cheapest one –“

“I am not cheap!”

“Yes, you are. Thing is –“

“I am also not sexy at full moon nights, I am full of scars and bad temper and... monstrous biting and just really not sexy!”

“Yes, you are. Now shut up, your man is holding a speech, righto?”

He went on gnawing on Remus' collarbone.

“A probably quite unstructured speech with a lot of grammar mistakes – how very terrible of me – but possibly the only speech I'll ever hold to you. So listen carefully: You wonder why I got so domestic, thing is, I am not, you are and you know that. It's just that every time I get home you're there and listen in your _Moony The Man Who's Thinking Too Much And Too Hard_ way and it's been a long time since I felt home somewhere, with someone. That someone is you, if you haven't noticed, you prat. You said you wonder why I ask you to marry me, well, James and Lily are (and they are getting a baby, which we can't, remember that, please) and I don't see why we should not. We are together since, what, two years and Lily and James married after less time. We already live together and I just want to.”

“But the point is –“

“Stop interrupting me!”

“The point is the why. I see you fancy me and everything and I fancy you, but – you're Sirius! Sirius Black! You need your freedom and don't marry people!”

“You're not people. And I love you. Will I get three letters now or not?”, Sirius said, all puppy again. Remus himself never felt more like he had just turned human after a night of being a werewolf. Dazed, confused. It was not like he did not want to marry Sirius, which he really, really wanted, but that he had always thought that one day the question would stumble out of his own mouth and could not be taken back, while Sirius would flee to another country. But now Sirius, _Sirius_ had asked _him_ and it had to be the most wonderful day of his life. Sirius' head turned from his chest and he looked up to Remus.

“Don't tell me you're crying.”

“Shut up, there was a strand of your hair in my eye.”

“There wasn't. It didn't feel like that.”

“It's not like you can feel when your hair is pushed into my eyeball. You have no control about it at all. Your hair's everywhere.”

“You're wrong, I am so in power of it!”

“No, you're not.”

“No, I'm not.”

Remus blinked.

“Did you just give in?”

“Er”, Sirius forced a smile.

“Oh, bugger”, Remus sighed, “Fuck yeah.”

“Fuck yeah what?”

“'Course I am going to marry you!”

“That's my man!”, Sirius screamed and kissed him so wildly on his lips that Remus felt like choking. There was hair in his mouth and in his eyes and wow, this was like being snogged by a dog. He did not mind at all. Less than ever, he thought before his brain went pudding again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little photo set for this piece of writing, you can find it [here](http://patronusbro.tumblr.com/post/131642873735/pudding-a-harry-potter-oneshot-sirius-and-remus).


	2. Christmas Dwarves and Cozy Jumpers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It. Is. Seven. In. The. Morning”, Remus said slowly.  
> “The earlier you get up today the more you have of Christmas Day!”, was the response.
> 
> The Marauders are having their annual Secret Santa gift giving and this year Remus will get some special gifts. Featuring: Excited-Puppy Sirius, Sarcastic James and Shy Artist Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my Secret Santa gift for [dahanci](http://dahanci.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for Christmas 2015!

The morning of Christmas Day was cold and filled with excitement. The cold showed in the frosty patterns on the window, in the snow-covered grounds and the icy breath that hung in the hallways and corridors. The excitement was mostly displayed by Sirius singing all Christmas songs that must have been written since the early ages. Enthusiastically. Off-key. While Remus was trying to sleep.

A loud thump sounded and his voice was cut off mid-sentence ('Since we have no place to go Let It – ow!'). Remus slowly opened one eye and moaned. He glanced at the clock by his bed. It was 7 am.

“I swear, I will end you!”, came a yell from James' bed and before Remus had even sat up, James had already jumped at Sirius and knocked him to the floor, where both of them landed next to a copy of Quidditch Through The Ages, which must have been what had stopped Sirius' one-man concert in the first place.

While Remus tried to scratch the sleep out of his eyes, he watched the scene on the dorm floor. Two teenage boys, one of them sixteen, the other one seventeen (a very important age gap, as Sirius insisted), rolling around and playfully brawling with each other. James was still wearing his pyjamas, but Sirius seemed to be fully dressed already. He had put on his horrendously sparkling red Christmas jumper with some equally eye-hurting metallic green pants, which made him look like a parody of something. Only that he meant it absolutely serious. Literally.

“I wish you a very happy Christmas as well, light of my life!”, Sirius squealed while James had him headlocked.

“Oh, shut up”, James laughed and let him go.

“What the fuck”, Remus said, “happened to the concept of a 'quiet' Christmas?”

As he heard his voice, Sirius jumped into the air and ran towards him. Remus quickly covered his face with his arms in case Sirius would get too eager and jump at him.

“Moony, my dear! It is so nice to hear your delightful voice so early in the morning!”, Sirius exclaimed and lunged for Remus' hair, confusing the dark-blonde mop even more.

Remus just groaned.

“Delightful, as I said!”, Sirius answered and his grin looked painfully wide.

“It. Is. Seven. In. The. Morning”, Remus said slowly and sunk back into his cushions.

“The earlier you get up today the more you have of Christmas Day!”, was the response.

Sirius hurried off to Peter, who had pulled his blanket just beneath the eyes and looked scared of what might follow.

“Merry Christmas!”, Sirius shrieked at him.

He took the Christmas hat which Peter had stored besides his bed for the greater part of the advent, and forced it over Peter's head. He tried to defend himself, but nobody was able to calm Sirius once he got excited over something. Especially not when it came to Christmas, which was probably Sirius favourite day of the year (that, Halloween and his birthday, which all lied within the same, practically Padfoot-themed eight weeks).

Remus could still remember their first Christmas at Hogwarts though. Sirius had been sulking during the entire holidays, up until Christmas day. He would start fights for no reason (even oftener than usual and even with James with whom he never argued) and growl at any one who asked him what was the problem. The night before Christmas Day he had hexed a Hufflepuff first-grader because she had asked him whether he was already looking forward to the celebrations. When Sirius had returned from detention that evening, James had started yelling at his best friend for the first (and only) time that Remus could remember, demanding to say him what was going on.

Finally, Sirius had told his friends how much he had hated Christmas ever since he could remember, because his parents would be even stricter than during the rest of the year. Instead of giving him suitable presents, they bought him books on eating manners or the history of the most influential wizard families. When he wouldn't like his gifts, they wouldn't try to make him feel better, but instead pointed out how grateful his brother would be about getting them.

Remus had some problems with his over-protective mother and his father that often seemed to be overwhelmed by raising a child with Remus' conditions. His parents would sometimes slip back to using his deadname or old pronouns for him, but at the end of the day, Remus was sure that they genuinely loved him, no matter whether it might not feel to him like it sometimes. But when he looked at Sirius' family, he was just glad that Sirius still managed to have good times.

Like, when he had unwrapped his presents at his first real Christmas at Hogwarts and had been so touched and happy and excited about what his friends had gotten for him (some sweets from Peter, a leather armband from James and a book about pranks from Remus). Sirius had spent the entire day smiling; he'd apologized to the girl he had cursed and eaten more food at the feast that all of the others combined. Ever since, advent was his favourite season.

The other Marauders never mentioned how much his behaviour had changed, because they didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Instead they tried to get along with all of Sirius excitement during Christmas time; even his crazy singing. Except maybe when it took place at this time a day.

Mentioning this time a day: It wasn't even dawning so far, and it probably wouldn't up until another hour and a half. Sometimes Remus felt like winters at Hogwarts were never done being dark and cold. There were times when he thought that he would never see the sunlight again – it didn't exactly helped if you had troubles with gloomy moods. Whenever February started and the first fingers of light crawled through the windows at 7.30 am, he'd feel like crying because finally, _finally_ winter was over. Remus didn't really enjoy spring that much, to be honest, but anything was better than never-ending darkness.

Now it was Christmas Day and he was only just half through the dark season. But this day and the weeks before were things Remus had always liked, because people looked more after each other, because he loved the decorations (no matter how kitschy they could get), because he would get new books, because it was a holiday – and most importantly, because there was so much chocolate to eat. So he looked forward to the day (and it was yet another week until full moon, so he didn't have to think about _that thing_ constantly).

In fact, he didn't really have the chance to think about anything at all, because Sirius had just started to bang both of his hands on the chair besides his bed; the rhythm was supposed to support his interpretation of Jingle Bells. If Remus wasn't mistaken, he had changed some of the lyrics and had squeezed in several lines about stags and wolves, dogs and rats after the dashing through the snow.

“Hey – the presents are here already!”, Peter exclaimed now, while Sirius nodded knowingly.

It wasn't until now that Remus noticed the little pile of presents by his own feet – and there were gifts on all of his friends' beds as well! Feeling a little rush of excitement going through his veins, he could suddenly understand Sirius' mood better. Christmas was a great thing indeed and he was so curious what presents he would get this year.

Like last time, the four of them had agreed that getting a present for each of the three others wasn't affordable to all of them (in Peter's case) or too time-consuming (James) or a problem due to a lack of good ideas (Remus). Of course, Sirius had never minded extensive gift traditions (the more presents he received and gave, the better), but he as well had supported the idea of a Secret Santa. At the beginning of December, they would write their names on a little piece of paper each, and everybody would blindly choose one of them – the task was now to give that person one or several presents.

Just like last year, Remus had picked Peter, which was fine with him. He knew that Peter appreciated kind gestures more than a certain coolness of the gift and therefore he didn't feel as pressured to give Peter the perfect present as much as he would if he had to give something to James or Sirius. He sometimes found it very hard to guess what they liked (or what fell into the category of what they considered suitable for themselves).

Last year, he had given Peter some socks with mice on them (he had found in a Muggle shop), sweets and a new quill because Peter had just broken his a few days before. Remus had been a bit anxious about whether Peter would like his presents, but his worry had been unnecessary: He had put on the socks right away, had already eaten a great part of his sweets until afternoon and Remus had seen him write a letter to his parents with said quill just the next day (and in fact, was still using it to date). He only hoped that this year he would have that much luck as well.

“Well, well, kiddos – how about you dress up nicely before we get down to the important part of the day?”, Sirius asked and glared at James, who had lunged for one of the packages on his bed.

“Yeah, let's all put on our hideous Christmas dwarf costumes!”, James said ironically and pointed at his best friend's outfit.

“This”, Sirius said and looked down, “is high-end fashion. Be careful – if it wasn't Christmas, you would've experienced my fists in your face so far. But on this glorious day, I am full of love.”

He made a wide gesture with his arm and James answered something in a growling tone, which Remus didn't hear any more, because he was already half-way towards the tiny bathroom next to their dorm. Holding some some clothes grabbed in his arms, he hoped that this fitted into what Sirius called “nice”.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and looked back at the tired person, ruffled hair, ruffled face, that stared at him from the mirror. After cleaning his teeth and washing his face, he unwrangled the pile of clothes that he'd brought and pulled out his binder. The only thing about winter that he accepted was that he could get away with wearing broad jumpers all day and needn't to worry that much about anybody spotting his binder underneath a light shirt.

Remus had arrived at Hogwarts as a boy and he was terrified by the thought that people could find out that he wasn't cis. Thanks to his werewolf genes he was quite tall and lanky and so he didn't have many curves and wearing a binder helped to hide the last few he had. Gratefully enough, his parents had always accepted his tomboy-ish nature when he was a child, and when he came out to them at the age of nine, it was still enough time to start transitioning before puberty. So he didn't really came across as trans to people who didn't knew about his private parts or the binding.

Of course he hadn't been able to hide it from the other Marauders; about the time they had found out that he was a werewolf, they had also discovered his other secret. But even though his friends were quite supportive and his parents were, well, okay with it, Remus was really scared about coming out to other people. He was glad that he passed as male and he didn't want to change that.

So he got out of his pyjamas, put on his binder and threw on a shirt and large jumper over it. Now that he was fully dressed, he looked again at his face. Merlin, these scars. He quickly closed his eyes, left the bathroom and returned to the dorm, where James and Peter were already fully dressed. James wore a weird hat with antlers coming out of it (he had found it in a shop in Hogsmeade a few years back and had grown weirdly found of it ever since). Peter, naturally, was putting his Christmas hat on again – this time without help from Sirius.

“Remus is back, we can start with the presents!”, Peter said smiling brightly.

“I can also put on the socks”, Remus offered.

“Please, do it, everybody has to wear something ugly and Christmas themed”, James said and laughed.

Remus got out a pair of socks which had been named by their group as nothing but “the socks”. They were almost as scary as Sirius' entire outfit – wild patterns of green and red and reindeer, which he had gotten from Peter once, when everybody was still trying to give all of the others presents.

As he pulled them on, he caught Sirius staring at him in a way that Remus would label as hypnotised, but decided to not mention it. _So if I wear these socks and it makes him happy_ , Remus thought, _I better not put them off today_. Which was followed by a loud _What the heck_ in his mind. He had promised himself to not think of this topic again. It wasn't leading anywhere. Sirius, the loud, extrovert, wild Sirius, would never find any interest in him, the boring, weird, scrawny trans werewolf.

Remus sat down onto his bed and so did his friends; the room was warm and the candles that lightened it created a comfy atmosphere.

“How about we sing some Christmas carols to get into the right mood?”, Sirius asked.

“Nobody but you wants to sing them and you already got the chance to do so and I think if you get even more 'into the right mood', your brain is going to implode”, James answered.

“So, presents it is?”, Sirius asked and jumped onto his own bed.

“Yep – anybody wants to start?”, James asked.

All of them stared at Sirius at the same time; he looked so much like an eager puppy that Remus was surprised to realise that he was, in fact, still in his human form. James wasn't wrong – he looked like Christmas was the only thing that would ever make him happy. Of course his friends let him unwrap his present at first, before his brain would take an even greater damage.

His gift was quite small, and pulled into some paper with dog patterns on it. Pulled meaning that it looked like the paper and whatever must be inside had accidentally crashed into each other in a storm. Judging by the packing, it was probably from James.

Sirius ripped it open with an excited grin on his face and out of the paper he took two black pencils. Confused for a moment, he examined them closer and let the others know that one of them was a “dope ass eye-liner” and that the other one had written “Tattoo Pencil – draw pictures on you skin that will move and stay on for two months!” on it.

“Damn, that's so cool!”, he murmured, seeming to be taken completely aback while he opened the tattoo pencil and looked at its tip.

After some silent seconds, he looked up again and asked: “Who is this from?”, but he could only see three grinning faces and questioningly raised arms.

“It's a _secret_ santa”, Peter mentioned.

“Oh, shut up, I will find out”, Sirius said and took a look at what was left in the package – two dog tags. He pulled them out.

“ _I'm a star... Brightest star in the sky..._ ”, he read out loud, while James hid his mouth beneath his hands and started cackling. Sirius slowly turned to him.

“James”, muffled giggling from said guy, “This is from you isn't it? I would always be able to identify the world's worst puns.”

James nodded; he was red from holding his breath and trying not to laugh.

“Merlin, you should see your face!”, he said, “It really helps to increase the entire Christmas troll atmosphere of your outfit.”

Sirius leaped towards him, threw him onto the mattress and tickled him.

“St– st– o– hop”, James made under his breath and tried to get away from him, laughing.

“ _High-end fashion_ , won't you listen?”, Sirius asked and made an attempt to bite playfully into James' neck.

James, who panicked in sight of this, yelled “Stop – that's rank”, rolled out of his bed and took Sirius' with him, who had clawed himself to James. The landed with a loud “oooph” on the floor and for a moment stayed silent until some moaning and laughing noises escaped from their mouths. Remus and Peter looked at each other and rolled their eyes. The two would never stop brawling around like little children.

“I will”, Sirius gasped, “draw 'I'm a wanker who loves Lily Evans' on your forehead. With my new tattoo pencil. This will be my ultimate victory and you will never criticise my fashion choices again.”

“You will –“, James started, but Remus stopped him.

“How about the two of you sit down again. Even though this is highly entertaining, as always, some people want to get a chance to see their presents as well.”

“Oh, Prongs, listen to the voice of our lord and saviour, Moony McSasswolf! You should behave yourself, really, you should”, Sirius said playfully and sat down onto his bed again; James crawled onto his.

“Okay, can I continue?”, James asked.

His friends nodded and he took his parcel. It was way more neatly wrapped than the one he had given Sirius, and square-shaped.

“A book?”, he asked and closed his eyes while he went with his fingers over the edges of the package, “Remus?”

Remus shook his head. It wasn't from him, but he had a good idea what was inside. As far as he knew, he had given the idea for this gift. James pulled the paper away.

“Collected Poems by Yeats? What is this?”

He was silent for a moment.

“I'm not sure whether Sirius can read and I don't think that he'd ever give me books”, hurt noises from Sirius, “... Peter?”

Peter, who had blushed a bit, nodded.

“It's not exactly for you, though. It's for Lily. I wondered what to give you and I thought that you had pretty much everything that you wished for, except that Lily doesn't want to go out with you. I asked Remus what kind of things she likes, and he said poetry and that her favourite poet is Yeats.”

James mouth stood a little open.

“You could like... read it out to her. Or read it in the common room so that she sees it and asks you about it; thinks that you like poetry as well. Or, I don't know, you could just forget about the book, if you think that it's a bad idea“, Peter said slowly and with a nervous look on his face and suddenly Remus felt bad for him, because it has been his idea, not Peter's and James didn't seem to like it as much as Remus had imagined that he would.

James looked up from the book, he seemed surprised and a bit puzzled, but a smile started to grow on his face.

“Peter... I think that it is an excellent idea!”, he beamed a smile at him, “No, really, girls like meaningful and considerate things, don't they? And I mean, yeah, Lily's a punk and all, but if Remus is right, she has a soft spot for poetry and I could...”

He seemed to get lost in his thoughts.

“Punks have feelings too”, Sirius said into the silence.

“Shut up, Padfoot, I am trying to make up a plan”, he answered and looked back at Peter.

“Thank you, really. I didn't expect this, but it's a really good idea, actually.”

“Well, it was in fact Remus' idea”, Peter said shyly.

“Yeah, but I only told you 'Lily likes Yeats', the rest came from you”, Remus mentioned.

“He's right, stop apologizing, I like it!”, James insisted.

Peter nodded and smiled, apparently he was relieved that this had taken a good turn in the end. He was the next to open his presents. This one was from Remus, and now he was in the place to feel anxious about whether he had found the right thing. He had used some simple, red paper for the wrapping, and had actually made different packages for each of the two gifts.

Peter unwrapped the first one; Bertie Bott's Beans, the Christmas edition with flavours such as mint and vanilla, cinnamon and burnt cookies.

“Oh damn, thanks! Wait, so I already gave James something and James gave Sirius something, so this is either from Remus or Sirius, right?”

Both of them nodded, though Remus could see that Sirius threw a side-glance at him and raised his eyebrows a bit. He couldn't help but think how good Sirius looked when he did that (and his outfit didn't change much about it). Peter took a look at the other parcel.

“That's a book as well, I think”, he said, “According to what you lot always say, this must be from Remus.”

“Yeah, it is”, Remus answered.

“Shh– you are not allowed to say before the other one opened it!”, Sirius demanded.

“Oh, come on, it's obvious isn't it?”, Remus said.

“Course it is, but it takes away the suspense.”

Remus turned to Peter.

“Sorry if I... took away your suspense”, he said.

“It's okay, doesn't matter”, Peter answered and pulled away the paper, “A calligraphy book?”

Remus nodded.

“Why?”, asked James.

“Do you have anything to do with calligraphy?”, asked Sirius confusedly.

Peter didn't answer, but held the book and looked at Remus, smilingly he had blushed again.

“Thank you.”

“Now, really, why?”, James said again.

“Well, it's for the map”, mentioned Remus.

“You mean– the Marauder's Map?”, Sirius asked excitedly.

“Again: We are not going to call it like that”, James said.

The Marauder's Map, as Sirius liked to call it, or just “the map”, as the others had named it, was something they had been working on for about a year now. It has started one cloudy November Sunday, when James and Sirius had been bored out of their minds and had searched for something to do. Remus, who was actually the only one who worked on the homework they had due to Monday, had snapped at some point and told them to go outside, play some Quidditch or run around on the grounds.

Hours later, in the evening, the two had returned sweat-soaked, with mud on their face and a wild gleam in their eyes. They had found some hidden rooms in the castle, one of them a giant hall that seemed to have its own ecosystem in it (that was were the mud came from), and another that had suddenly appeared when James had sneezed. It was full of tissues. Ever since, the two wouldn't shut up about creating a map with all of Hogwarts' floors, rooms and hidden closets on it, because it seemed that such a map had never been made as long as the school had existed.

Both of them had explored the castle for another two months until their friends had finally given in and had agreed to help them with their project. Sirius and James would go on strolls through the castle in every free minute, while Remus was supposed to organise their handwritten sheets of papers full of doodles, little maps and notes (Peter helped him).

They had been almost finished with the map, when Sirius and James had been caught by Professor McGonagall as they had tried to get into a forbidden corridor. Due to a long story by Sirius about how they had gotten lost their detention happened to be only small, but nevertheless, the two sulked for a few days about their bad luck – they had forgotten to take James' invisibility cloak with them.

Then, Peter came up with the idea to mark down the position of every person in Hogwarts on the map, so that you always knew where everybody was. For the last half year, Sirius, James and Remus had tried to find spells that would make that possible. Peter was spending his free time figuring out designs for the map, trying to draw the different parts down neatly. Noticing that he would always doodle new ideas for different writings and patterns, Remus had come up with the idea to give him a calligraphy book for Christmas.

After all, Peter was the one of them who was best with taking his time to mark down things the way they needed to mark down. Remus was known to take far too many notes in class (most of which were confusing to everybody but him) and James and Sirius, well, they were James and Sirius. Not really made for writing and designing.

Looking into Peter's face, Remus knew that he had chosen the right gift. Peter's reddened cheeks and his quiet Thank you showed him that. Now he was the only one left to open his present – a bulky, but soft-looking thing on his bed that was wrapped in some old parchment. It could only be from Sirius. The blood rushed into his face. For a weird moment he hoped that he would, amongst his present, find a love letter in the package.

“It's me now, isn't it?” he asked.

“Yep. You and his present”, James answered and pointed at Sirius.

Remus looked at him and couldn't stop a smile creeping on his lips as he noticed that Sirius tried to hide his nervous anticipation with a cheerful grin. Weighing the parcel in his hands, Remus realised that it was indeed something soft inside. The parchment crackled below his fingers as he drew it away. He spotted something woollen and pulled out a large red-brownish jumper. Under it lied some chocolate.

“Wow”, Remus said as he touched the fabric.

Even though the jumper was indeed made out of wool, it didn't scratch at all. The colour was one of his favourites, it always made him think of autumn leaves and cosiness. He unfolded it and it became obvious that it was huge and a bit bulky – the way Remus liked his jumpers best. He didn't just like it; he was completely overwhelmed that he had gotten something that he valued so much.

He looked at Sirius, who had a quite expectant expression on his face. Remus realised that he himself hadn't smiled so far, because he was so stunned. He buried his face in the jumper. Damn, it was so soft.

“Thank you”, he said against the fabric.

“You like it?”, Sirius asked quietly.

“God, yes, I love it. It's perfect”, Remus answered and a huge grin grew on Sirius' face.

“I knew it!”, Sirius yelled, energetically again, “I saw it in Hogsmeade and thought – this is the most Moony thing I have ever seen. I had to buy it.”

“Thank you”, Remus repeated, “Honestly, it's great. The chocolate too.”

It was his favourite type; really dark and with some hazelnuts in it. Sirius obviously knew that because Remus would never shut up about chocolate.

“Uhm”, Sirius said a bit awkwardly now, “It's got some special skills, I am going to show you later.”

“Okay... yeah”, Remus said hesitantly, wondering what these... special skills could be.

James clapped his hands.

“We're finished, aren't we? Everybody got cool presents and Merlin, I'm hungry”, he said and the others agreed; Remus while still feeling a bit overwhelmed. The jumper was so wonderful.

All of them got up to go eat breakfast – this was their tradition. First, they would look at the presents from each other, and then they would eat. They used to open their families' gifts right after the other's as well, but at some point it became very awkward, because James always got a lot of presents, while Peter and Remus were given only a few. Sirius parents had stopped giving him something for Christmas a few years ago. To not make the situation weird, they would simply take care of their other presents on their own, either after breakfast or some other time that day.

Remus let go of his new jumper and put his wand into his pocket. He was about to follow Peter and James out of the dormitory, but Sirius still seemed to be searching for something beneath his bed – it was obvious that he was only acting about it, apparently he wanted to leave after the others. Remus wondered whether he should ask him about it (maybe Sirius wanted to talk about the special features of his jumper that he mentioned?). He almost had blabbered out the question, as Sirius threw a glance to the door, realised that they were alone and came out from under his bed.

Remus watched his movements as Sirius slowly closed the door. It was silent for a moment.

“Uhm”, Remus made.

Sirius stared at him, looking puzzled and sort of like he was really hard to solve a riddle that he had been working on for a while. Remus' felt his heartbeat fasten. What was this about? He started to wonder whether they maybe felt similar about each other (Was it a crush? Was it merely appreciating a good friend?). He gulped. This wasn't possible, he would never have so much luck.

“Is this about the jumper?”, he asked and his voice sounded far too high

“Yeah, sort of”, Sirius said and grabbed it from Remus bed.

“I thought that any one could buy you a nice jumper and that I should make it a bit more personal, so I searched for some spells that could make it more into a Moony jumper.”

Remus frowned.

“O... kay, what does that mean? Does it explode when I put it on or something?”

Sirius grinned shortly, but became, well, serious again.

“That would have been a good idea, but no. I searched for compression spells and found something that works like a binder, just in shape of a spell.”

Remus eyes grew bigger.

“Really? This is a jumper and a binder?”, he felt the clothe that was still in Sirius' hands.

“Yep. I hope it's not too tight, I tried to make it both comfortable and, yeah, working. I can't know whether it is okay though, you can tell me and I can try to adjust it. The spell is pretty easy to work with.”

There was something like a white noise in Remus ear; he could hear his heartbeat in his head. Under usual circumstances, this would have been an insanely awkward conversation – he never talked about binding with any one and neither he nor his friends had mention that he was trans ever since he came out to them (that they knew only was obvious whenever they would try to be kinder to him in situations during which he felt dysphoric or similar). And let alone the idea that Sirius had searched the library for a binding spell... that he had spent so much time for something having to do with Remus. But this wasn't awkward; he felt okay. Sirius seemed to really care that Remus was fine with his gift. The only thing that made him nervous was how close they were standing to each other.

But nothing was going to happen. There would never happen something between them. Yes, okay, Sirius had shown several times that he was not only attracted to girls, but that didn't mean that he would find any interest in Remus. They were still holding the jumper together, both of them. Remus tucked at it a little and Sirius let it go.

“Uhm – you are not saying anything”, Sirius said, “I can also erase the spell, if you feel weird about it.”

“No it's – it's fine. It is really amazing in fact, I will let you know whether you measured it right”, Remus answered quietly.

They were really, really standing closely to each other.

“How about... breakfast?”, Remus whispered.

Sirius just stared back at him. Being silent for so long was really atypical for him – standing without moving (going through his hair, biting a nail, scratching his neck) was even more so. Neither of them said anything or made another noise. Peter and James were probably starting to wonder why it was taking them so long. There were brown sprinkles in Sirius' grey eyes...

“Yeah, right breakfast sounds amazing”, Sirius said in a usual voice and it seemed loud to Remus' ears.

Before he could do anything, Sirius was already at the door. Remus shook his head and tried to chase away the imagine of Sirius lips from his mind. This wasn't going to happen, he had been right. Sirius cared about him. As a friend, and as nothing else. He threw the jumper back on his bed.

“Oh shit. I'm sorry, Moony”, Sirius said as Remus came towards the door as well.

“Why are you sorry?”, Remus pretended not to be hurt.

“I'm a coward.”

“Er. Why? You're a Gryffindor, you fight me at full moons, you have the nerve to discuss something with Professor McGonagall, I don't see why you would be–“, he blabbered out of awkwardness.

Sirius frowned and cut in.

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“No, I don't...”, Remus made but he was cut off mid-sentence as Sirius pulled an arm around his waist and turned him around so that he stood with his back to the door. For a second, he didn't think anything but that his surprised pants weren't attractive at all. Then his brain hit in and there was a tiny man screaming in a high-pitched voice inside.

Sirius pressed him against the door and Remus gulped again, it make him sound as if he was terrible scared. Sirius laughed.

“Damn. You're a coward too”, he said and Remus was desperately trying to find a good answer.

But before he could come up with anything even remotely witty, Sirius pressed his lips on Remus', who was so stunned by the touch of Sirius' breath against his cheek and the way that he had laid his hands around his head that he didn't move for a moment. The tiny man had stopped screaming. Both he and Remus were far too astonished to think anything.

Then he gave in and pressed his lips back. Was this how you did kissing? How would he know. Sirius pulled away and both of them took a short breath before Remus dragged himself forwards again and placed a short kiss on a spot where he had thought Sirius' mouth (actually he only hit closely next to it because Sirius had moved towards him the same second).

They let go and simply stared at each other for some time, until their breathing and heartbeats had returned to what was considered healthy. Remus gulped again, he felt like something was stuck in his throat. He couldn't do anything, he simply looked into Sirius' face and tried to tell himself that maybe at some point in years he would have calmed down to the point of sanity.

“Thanks for the jumper”, he murmured stupidly.

Sirius laughed out loud.

“You're welcome”, he took Remus' hand, “Will you team up with me for the snow ball fight against these other two dorks today?”

Remus smiled.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I made a photo set for it [here](http://patronusbro.tumblr.com/post/136059500950/christmas-dwarves-and-cozy-jumpers-a-harry-potter).


End file.
